God’s Latest Drinking Binge

Godonabender377
..when asked why they couldn’t aim their rockets more effectively: ‘We do aim them, but their God changes their path in mid-air’.
thatguy2
“out of nowhere God told her that He would take it from here and she let go of the wheel and let Him take it.”

God can do anything
he doesn’t care
like knocking missiles
out of the air.

But driving a car
proves too much the dare
all those promises
vanish to thin air.

God is so awesome
like an imaginary friend
you can even blame him
while you play pretend.

That which lurks behind
this naivete
is an easy excuse
so you can disobey.

Faith in miracles
is just make believe
you only convince yourself
while leaving others to grieve.

 


 

God goes on a bender

It was reported by several sources that the divine being has been directly interfering with events here on earth. With an unprecedented appearance in not one but two locations this week.

Once in the holy land to stop by and have some fun with the massive death orgy that both sides seem to enjoy so much. He was reported to be interfering by not stopping the violence but just helping to make it more random.

Then in a personal appearance back in America, he was involved in a traffic accident concerning a young woman, her car, and abdicating responsibility

While many look at these as merely examples of human beings displaying delusional behavior by projecting an alter ego into the self inflicted problems they must now face.

There is much more troubling answer.

GOD IS A BINGE DRINKER.

Evidently the supreme being has decided to go and get hammered and is traveling around the world pranking everyone from Vicodin addicts to the desert versions of Deadpool.

This appears to have been caused by a profound disappointment with us, his children that has been covered up for so long has finally tipped The Lord over the edge.

You really can’t blame as we are a disappointing lot that he has to love like the love you have for the son that throws a ball like a girl. Well at least he makes good grades.

Looks like we will have to get together for an intervention and hopefully we can get the big guy through this.

Send all donations to the Human Fund, care of this station.

sources

http://www.news24.com/MyNews24/Israel-Miracle-Gaza-Strip-Hamas-Complain-Their-God-Changes-The-Paths-Of-Our-Rockets-In-Mid-Air-20140722

http://www.inquisitr.com/1365065/woman-lets-god-drive-car-anthony-oliveri/ 

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